Loneliness—a tad overrated, a tad underrated.

Loneliness, is one word I keep hearing on and off, especially from friends and peers. And, it doesn’t mean am in anyway exempt from experiencing the word in all its entirety at times. But, what’s funny is this: a generation that has access to an average of 30 smses a day and 10 cell phone calls and three active chat windows finds itself in the throes of loneliness every second day! Are we overrating our sense of loneliness, when we actually aren’t lonely; or are we missing something quintessential about real relationships and the role they play in loneliness?

A friend of mine once said that she and her husband are constantly on chat the whole day that in the evening there’s hardly anything to say to each other! Now, isn’t that bizarre? Chats have totally hijacked real conversations; leave alone the deplorable standards to which our spellings and grammar have sunk to. Getting back to the friend, I immediately told why should you guys be on chat the whole day through then? She just looked at me as if I were talking in an alien tongue! Yes, it’s unimaginable not to be on chat! But, then, doesn’t chat rob one of real conversations…don’t we miss an occasional smile, a grimace, a frown, an instant silencing, a blacking out, an adorable expression, etc…these, are the very things that make a conversation real and help make a relationship, especially when one is chatting with someone you haven’t met.

Sometimes, I think, would I be able to chat with my dad! Half the times the conversations begin with a shrug and end with a scowl; and believe me, I would have had the best conversation with my dad, which could never be possible on a chat! Of course, I do not deny the fact that chats have ridiculed the distances between Delhi and Chennai and New York! However, chats can never replace real communication and hence real relationships. So, if we think we are nuts to experience loneliness in the presence of so many friends on chat, we are really nuts! Since chats don’t mean anything, they cannot in anyway replace real feeling.

Next, I wonder if loneliness in itself is bad? Sometimes, loneliness teaches a lot of new things about our own selves. It also teaches us the value of relationships; the importance of bonding; the liveliness that another human being brings into one’s life; the value of friendships; and even how to work on friendships. Yes, one can learn a lot from loneliness as well; just don’t make the mistake of chatting just because you are ‘lonely,’ since chats are at the end of day, empty like loneliness itself. :-)

Money, Money, Money!

In the last few weeks, one has been subjected to teasers and promotions of yet another reality show: Sach ka Saamna. It’s a program inspired by the very popular western show, The Moment of Truth. The promotion includes very provocative slogans like, can your truth tear asunder your marriage, your family! Can you face the truth!

Another popular reality show is the much publicized Rakhi Sawant ki Swayanvar, in which Rakhi Sawant (who needs no introduction) chooses her groom from a list of wannabes who go through multiple rounds of qualification, including a horoscope-matching round (or something similar with a Brahmin priest going through the palms of the guys and Rakhi).

Both these programs will undoubtedly have an enormous number of viewers and hence will prove to be great money spinners! And, that’s all that matters to the producers, to the actors, and everyone involved in this despicable attempt at entertainment!

Let’s look Sach Ka Saamna first. What does it promote? Or, what does it exploit? One word that comes to my mind is voyeurism. The perverted pleasure that a person experiences by being privy to the intimate lives of other people! So far, we have been told not to read other people’s letters, diaries, and ask ‘personal’ questions even to partners! And, here, you go before the whole world and talk about your ‘affairs,’ and also go through a lie detector for some money! Are the participants of this show so hard up on cash? Then, the viewers! What kind of mind will want to watch such crap? Or, have we all really lost touch with our real selves? Pornography is still banned, but Sach ka Saamna is aired on prime time! So, it’s all about money! More and more and more money! It’s really scary beyond point; where are we all headed at this rate?

Next, Rakhi Sawant ki Swayanvar. Here’s a young woman who wants to get married, and wants to make money in the process of her selecting her better half, after subjecting him through multiple rounds of tests! I have heard some flippant talk about this being feministic! It’s one of most ridiculous things I have heard in the recent past. Just because a woman comes on screen, shoots off her mouth, wears skimpy clothes, and declares her wish to go through a traditional, Hindu marriage, does it make her a feminist? Or, should it be considered as a victory for the woman’s movement? I really would like to hear what the women groups have to say about the Rita bahuguna’s anti-woman and anti-dalit statements! Coming back to Rakhi Sawant: one is subjected to the processes involved in a traditional Hindu marriage, which in itself is highly derogatory to women, preceded by equally despicable ways in which Rakhi chooses her groom! In one of the episodes, the wannabe groom’s are made to write and read their ‘love’ for Rakhi! And, Rakhi evaluates each one on the basis of how she feels about each of them! Now, I really don’t know why one should choose a TV program to talk about such things! All for money! In the face of money, everything ceases to remain sacred or even human! Only the following came to mind as a fitting end to this story.

The bourgeoisie has stripped of its halo every occupation hitherto honoured and looked up to with reverent awe. It has converted the physician, the lawyer, the priest, the poet, the man of science, into its paid wage labourers.
The bourgeoisie has torn away from the family its sentimental veil, and has reduced the family relation to a mere money relation.--- The Communist Manifesto

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Moods change faster than seasons
Sometimes, with seasons
Sometimes, with bank balance
Sometimes, with politics

Colors are usurped before the ink on the paper dries
Blue for social liberation they say
Red for people liberation
Saffron for rioting and killing

Friendships and romance are captured in picture perfect moments
In smses
In chats
In social networking sites

Reality and true human touch are beyond the grasp
Of any suspended human
Suspended between classes
Sandwiched between email addresses and TV serials

The heart and soul are lost in dreams of posterity
Of comfortable retirement plans
Of uncomfortable health insurance schemes
Of customized, packaged, love-is-real marriages

The spirit and mind are trying to look beyond
The moods, the colors, the customized romance and insurance plans
To open the door to the real world
To see real people, with an unsold soul