Reality, go away…

After copying and pasting other people’s ideas and thoughts, the ones that resonated with mine, it’s time for me pen down my own thoughts…well, does it really matter? People rarely stumble on my blog; even if they do, they don’t find my writing compelling enough to stir out a response. But, is that the only reason why I must write…for people to respond? Nothing could be more pathetic a reason a write. But, what could possibly be a reason for one to write…to lighten yourself? Or, for a transient high at seeing one’s ability to commit to virtual screen the subjective reality of one’s thoughts? Now these are more pathetic reasons to write…well, to say that am writing just because I want to write, without any expectations—I don’t want you to respond to what I have to say…am not inviting you for a discussion…am not even hoping you would have read so much to get till here—I believe is a ‘safe’ reason to write.

Somebody I admire a lot once said, “for some reason fiction dances out of me, whereas nonfiction is wrenched out.” She couldn’t be more correct. In real life, dreams happen/dance out of you as if they were there always, like a pleasant green meadow or a clear sky. And, events (reality!) are so out of place (wrenched out of you) like a parched dry land in the middle of an enormous ocean! Why do these things happen? Is this some sort of mystical law? The law that unites/homogenizes all things? Is this the law of subjective reality? Is my reality something so very far removed from the reality of person A? Is person A’s reality only a dream for me? Then, the law of unity doesn’t apply anymore, because my universe is governed by a different set of laws. Then, in that case, I need to be in a different plane of existence, where I don’t have to compete with someone whose reality has been only my dream. That person can never become an ‘ideal’ for me. I need a different world…a world that has no control…a world where I can be what I am…where I am not told to behave like a woman…where I don’t have to stay ‘where’ I am supposed to be…where the dalit is not a dalit; just a human. Where people don’t crush each other through economics, skin color, ‘God’s word,’ body type, or institutions like marriage, patriarchy, and capitalism.

How much longer will it take for dreams to come back…reality is sickening!