Neeya Naana…give me a break!

I am really curious to know who are the producers of this really horrible program called neeya nana, which is hosted by some dim wit of a guy on Vijay TV! This program is aired on Sundays between 9:00 and 9:30 PM, perhaps with a 100 reruns of the same episode. The topics are usually provoking, well don’t expect if the discussions would be on neo-liberal policies or coalition politics or live-in relationships or domestic violence; it’s usually on something as inane as love vs. arranged marriages or something equally insulting the modest standards of human intelligence. Ok, the discussion that is happening tonight has sunk to an all-time low, which would have stirred or psyched even the traditionalists of the dark ages!

The discussion is between ‘businessman vs. wives–are they happy.’ Firstly, the title: people, business can be done by both sexes and people who do not adhere to any one sex as well. What gave you the right to assume a gender identity for a profession? Nextly, wives! Was this a place where women (well the business wives) could rant their rather indulgent anger on their business husbands? What was it? Were the producers or directors looking at the emergence of any possible domestic violence cases? Or, were they looking at alleviating the ‘misery’ of these ‘housewives?’ Or, was it a sneak, voyeuristic peek into these upper middle class homes? What was the whole point of the title? Didn’t it even strike them that there could be several thousands of business women in this progressive state of Tamil Nadu? What was really amusing was an ad in between that went on list the big women achievers! Was that a miss? Or, were you guys so out of sync with what you were doing? This one was just too obvious to miss!

Next, the panelists: most of the women wore a sindur. This is an interesting point, because this sindur thing is rather new in Tamil Nadu. Perhaps, thanks to Ekta kapoor’s serials, our women, from the land of Periyar and Bharatiyar (who openly declared war on casteism and chauvinism and called a woman who challenged the traditional mores of patriarchy a real woman), have so happily lapped up regressive practices that even their grandmoms didn’t have!

And, all the women continued to simply talk about how the husband wouldn’t pay ‘any’ attention to the household; of course, why would he, if you more than readily, perhaps gave up your career for marriage or the child, or didn’t study so that your parents may not be able to find a suitable groom for you? That’s not enough, there have been love marriages in which the women have done everything to ensure that the man becomes something ‘worthy.’ But, my question is, why didn’t the women do anything for themselves? And, you just find one vague TV program to share your rants or experiences? The men’s responses: typical! Oh yeah, we are so busy, you see; well, who are ‘we’ struggling for? It’s for the family!

My question: what was new about this whole exchange? Is this truly the reality? How come I see something very different? How come in my 7-8 years of working, I have had always had women bosses, except a couple of them? And, how come the corporate board rooms are filled with women? How come big political parties have women leaders? How do I reconcile with the fact that very soon, India might have an Obama moment: when a dalit woman becomes the prime minister? Especially, when I am assaulted with crap like this on prime time? I understand if it were these fictitious, gycerline-dependent serials, because I can just dismiss them at least on principle, especially with their disclaimer and all! Here, you have real people talking terrible stuff! Yeah, all the men are talking about how it is great to hear the child’s first word or how the child plays and the usual the home-bound nonsense! Yes men, that’s what we have always been telling! The women have had ENOUGH of hearing the babies and perfecting the art of creating new recipes, face packs (so that they are beautiful for you and your friends), pickles, home decoration, and all the prescribed stuff. Why don’t the men take over here for a change, after all, it’s the men who have been romanticizing the ‘woman’s job.’

Vijay TV’s program just left me hopping mad about this horribly antiwoman show! Somehow, it feels like the woman has no role to play in her life than just crib about her husband’s attention! Doesn’t she have anything to do? Is she just there to run the homestead for the businessman? And, mind you, the labor is unpaid, and she does not have any job security, she can get thrown out any time, she can be shortchanged, she does not any leave (PL/CL/SL), and every day she works overtime! It left a terrible taste in my mouth… where are we headed…